A Woman, Thinking

H&H: Paralysis

Healing & HeartPoppy LochridgeComment

Right after publishing the previous post, my throat seized up like a CPU fan meeting a long-haired Persian cat. But, but, but.... what do I say?

Luckily for me, Havi's got a post on that.

(A brief introduction: I first ran into Havi's work at Jen Louden's Virtual Retreat back in 2009. I didn't make it "to" all of the sessions, but The Emergency Calming Techniques call really worked for me... while I was listening to it and a day or two afterward. And then I slipped back into my old habits until earlier this year, when I said to myself, "Hey, that call that I really liked from the retreat I did that one time - who was that again? So I dug the recording up, started listening to it, and found myself on Havi's blog. And I've been there on and off again all year.)

(Incidentally, the Recommended Tags for this post, right at this moment, are suggesting that I use the tag "Restriction of Hazardous Substances Directive". Little concerned about that.)

Ok, we're back. So, *hwoooof* here's the thing: I'm terrified of telling you what's on my mind. In my heart. I even saw the words "right people" in that link above, and my eyes teared up. Because some part of me is a scared little kid who doesn't think the right people exist who want to read this sentence that ends right here. Or the paragraph that ends like this.

So here's a wish, a want, a.... wishwant? A wash? A wint?

I want to find my right people. I want you to find me.

And in order to do that, I need to explore the idea of right people and see what parts of me are resisting the idea. Spelunk the cave of ideas to see if I can find some stray ideas about how I could approach this topic (they lay scattered on the floor like precious gems in that cave, so I'm told!)

Once I've explored and spelunked and played with that.... maybe then I'll be ready to OFFICIALLY wish.