A Woman, Thinking

THIS and THAT

Healing & HeartPoppy LochridgeComment

What WorkedPermission around finances.

Doing things and putting them behind me instead of doing them and fussing over them for several days.

Inviting Change Into I'd like to invite change into the speed at which I appear to be living. More slow days. More red lights. More pauses. Meditation and slooooow yoga. Inviting all of these things - or even the consideration of these things.

The Scary Mysterious Boos Problems. Problems and hitches with just about every project this week. Problems leading to more problems. Problems leading to the overall feeling of DRAIN.

Over-Committedness. And yes, I too, over-estimate my capacity for over-committedness.

Exhaustion. And in the middle of it, loud obligatory social gathering. Not my cup of tea. And sitting next to someone the mister thought I would like, but not really finding myself excited about it.

Weird unexplained incidence of bad moods early this week. The scientists are on it, but haven't turned up any results.

The Delightful YAY The pollen from the trees that I am allergic to has dropped quite a bit, and I feel much better generally than I was. Still have to remember that this does not mean 100% better and treat myself as if I were still sick.

Plum Duff!

The mister's new hardware arrived early - pushing our hardware replacement schedule ahead by several days.

That delightful joy-filled moment when I thought everything was working as expected.

The hour of extra me-time for self care that arose out of not sleeping two nights ago. If I didn't need sleep, I'd plan to be up for an extra hour in the middle of every night.

The beautiful feeling of being home from work at the end of a week and knowing that I get two whole days ahead of me to recharge.

Reaching out and finally inviting friends back into our lives. Instead of, you know, just sitting around and whining that they aren't in our lives, which is what I've been doing.

All of the things I've spent years reading and researching about the perils of the internet are finally starting to coalesce into some kind of understandable thought. This is beautiful, like watching ballet in extremely slow motion, watching my thoughts cluster and collide and eventually turn into something great. The internet isn't evil. Facebook isn't evil (although I still have doubts). It's the medium, i.e., how we use it, and the many, many people who seem to believe that clicking "like" on vacation pictures is the same kind of friendship maintenance as getting together for coffee used to be. The many, many people who are willing to relinquish time together for coffee for the convenience of sharing a completely irrelevant cat picture because we live in a world where the default is for convenience and not for wholeheartedness and empathy. It's the fact that technology works like THIS and that's easy, but we need it to work like THAT, and yes, you can do it, but it's not so easy.