A Woman, Thinking

Personal Ad #1 - The ReBeginning

Wishing on a StarPoppy Lochridge1 Comment

It’s been a squirrel’s age since we last checked in with Havi-style Wishing. Because it’s been so long, I am single-handedly declaring this to be Personal Ad #1 - the ReBeginning.

 

Even though I don’t know what I would ask for….

    …. I am going to make the ask anyway and hope the “what” shows up

    …. I am going to show up and let myself be seen

    …. I’m going to ask myself, “What do I WANT?” and see what happens

 

Even though I don’t believe that there is any way on earth that this would ever work.…

    …. It’s totally within my sovereign right to be foolish and to do things that aren’t productive

    …. In fact, it’s kind of required sometimes.

    …. Playing is good for me.

 

Even though I feel really, really uncomfortable when I just start to think about asking for stuff.…

    …. Hoo boy, do I.

    …. Didn’t I leave the stove on? I should go and check, it’ll only take a few minutes and then I can come right back to writing this  
(pro tip: it doesn’t really work that way. There’s always something….)

    ….   …………   
(pro tip: right after the distraction comes the complete mental blank - gremlin encouragement to give up writing and go do something else, since we can’t think of anything anyway.)

    …. Alright, alright, fine. Even though I feel really, really uncomfortable…. It’s something I need to practice doing. So it becomes, hopefully, less uncomfortable. Or maybe I just start to believe that I will survive the discomfort.

 

What DO I want?

Puppies

A good job is a little bit like a puppy: it needs time and attention and care, but if it’s ____ enough (cute enough, playful enough, comforting enough), you don’t mind so much needing to devote that time and attention and care to it.

I would absolutely adore it if the perfect puppy for my husband showed up looking for him.

 

If the puppy is not yet ready for him, it would be super helpful if the right guide showed up - a not-me person with the education and skills to help him create safety. And the magic beans that this guide needs in exchange, because we are not about something for nothing.

 

Superpowers

I also want the superpower of Remembering that Everything is OK. And this particular superpower comes with a +10 Cloak of Safety, which is cozy and warm and staves off panic attacks.

 

How to play along

Because safety is a core value for me, I am asking that comments in this space avoid all the ugly things: shame, blame, judgement. I am asking that disagreement and discussion be polite, respectful, generous, and open to vulnerability.

Because community is healthy behavior, I welcome you to comment, to share your own wants and wishes, to discuss wishing with empathy with me and with each other.